is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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