Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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