But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You pole danced in your parka.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
