I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
