Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
