R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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