Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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