I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
