He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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