TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
