You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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