The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
