I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
