He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
