I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
