Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
