Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
