Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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