Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
