You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
