Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
