i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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