Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
