Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize