I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have already put on my inside pants.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
