I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize