We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
God I need to hump something, right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
