He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
