is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize