K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
