Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
