Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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