Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I will pee on everything he values.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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