I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
