I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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