i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
