We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
