How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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