So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
