how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
