im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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