the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
