areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
