if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
