I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize