We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
