Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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