HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
