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I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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