Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
