i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
