Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize