We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
