so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
