So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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