i need an iv and a liver transplant
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize