batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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