Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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