Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Randomize
