i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
