What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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