Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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