the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
