Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
