God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
