Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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